Birth is a powerful force, uncontrollable and raw. It brings us into our most primitive, simple forms. The design of our bodies, the synchronicity of our composition. It is a compact, intense and potent experience…our whole life collapsed into a single moment. The moment we become.
Become a living, breathing expression of our soul.
Become a mother, the soul inexplicably and forever tethered to another in the most cosmic and physical sense.
I have spent many years searching for the latent and omnipotent meaning behind this soul-altering experience. I have also been searching for something. A lost part of my spirit.A way to turn ON the dead parts of me that I have shut off and let die.
I have been aching to define it, give it words, give it LIFE…give birth to this need for the something I can’t even outline.
Recently, I have been drawn into working as a doula… a woman who is hired to support a mother during labor and birth. I have moved into this work with a powerful sense of purpose…there is something here for me to learn.
I need to be here, doing this.
Getting into the work has been exhausting. Emotionally and physically draining, and challenging my patience and communication skills constantly. I teeter on the edge of quitting, turning tail and running, cutting the stress and expectation and difficult relationships loose and being freed from it all. But I stay. Because there is something here, in this work.
Something that I am meant to do.
What is it? What is birth meant to teach me? Continue reading