Disney has been ruining my kid…. a job I can do quite well on my own, thank you.
I know, it sounds drastic. Don’t worry, I am not going to launch into a ridiculous diatribe about how Frozen has a hidden gay agenda (huge eye roll) or is turning my girls in to glittery, sparkly princesses who need a prince to save them, (we are over that stage, thank god) or that Miley Cyrus grew up and dared to climb out of her Hannah Montana box.
In the interest of being a pretty laid back mom, who fights against my extremely conservative upbringing, I have tried to adopt a more moderate view of the world and it’s evils. With my girls, I am trying a more balanced approach, believing that they should not be sheltered constantly from American culture, taught to fear and judge and overreact to everything they see. My general philosophy has been to allow them to take part in age-appropriate music, movies and t.v.
That said, I may have gone too far…
Its been a brutal winter and I confess, my kids watched too much T.V. School was cancelled. ALL THE TIME. There was only so much hot chocolate and board games I could muster before I would hand them the remote and rock quietly in a dark corner of my kitchen with a bottle of wine.
Now, I did check in with them, shouting “whatcha watching?” and they would yell, “A.N.T. Farm!” or “Kickin’ It!” or “Good Luck Charlie!” I investigated, and these shows are all listed as appropriate for 8+. Fine. Every once in a while, they would call me in to watch some joke they thought was “Soooo hilarious, mom!” and I would try not to think about how they should be watching something on the History channel instead. Kids deserve some mindless, silly comedy with no educational purpose, just like I deserve to watch Sister Wives and Grey’s Anatomy. No big.
Until.
A few months ago, my husband and I started noticing some differences in one of our daughter’s behavior. She wasn’t acting like herself, she seemed to be putting on a show. She would fling her hair about and act like a sassy teenager and use lingo that sounded inauthentic and contrived coming from her. In these moods she was extra silly, always looking for a laugh.
When this would happen, I tried to talk to her about it. I pointed out that it did not feel like her “real” personality, and that people can sense when someone is not being authentic. We talked about crossing the line between silly and obnoxious. I stepped up my emphasis on important qualities like kindness, generosity, creativity. I asked her if she was acting like people on tv, and after much pressure, she would admit that she was getting a her sayings and jokes from the Disney channel.
At this point, no real alarm bells were going off. She was experimenting, and we were talking about it. It opened lines of communication for me. A little hair tossing and Disney “lingo” was not going to ruin her.
But then, this dear daughter got into some trouble with friends at school. I met with her teachers and spoke to the parents of the other girls involved, and was shocked to hear of some of the social things going on with my child at school. She is a sensitive, loving, girl who is usually fiercely loyal and empathetic… the reports of her behavior did not match what I knew of my girl. She was saying hurtful and judgemental things about other girls’, throwing around conceited declarations, among other shocking things.
Now, don’t get me wrong. I am all for personal responsibility and I am in no way interested in making lame excuses for my child. We dealt with the situation and helped her learn painful but necessary lessons about jealousy, friendship, self-control, and hurtful words.
While she was at school during this week, I spent a good amount of time in quiet reflection. The week’s events had been extremely trying as a parent, I found myself in new territory. Acting on instinct, I spent a day watching some of her favorite Disney shows, from start to finish…looking for answers.
I COULD NOT BE MORE HORRIFIED.
Parents. Are you watching this garbage?
I certainly had not been. Beyond the quick minute or two, I had never sat and watched an episode of A.N.T Farm with the girls. Because it is Disney. How the hell do you go from Doc McStuffins, a show that SAVED ME countless tears at the pediatrician’s office, to this absolute trash? I so very wrongly figured that a company like Disney would not be promoting cruelty, bullying and sexism in their shows for young, impressionable children. I was completely mortified as I watched.
These shows are laced with terrible social behavior. Like the scene in one, where a “nerdy” boy walks up to a pretty “popular” girl and asks her out… she threw her bowling ball and ran away screaming. *Cue audience laughter*
There were so many examples of rude, mean responses to difficult social situations for kids, followed by the character shrugging it off, recorded laughter, and the characters moving on without showing any realistic emotions. No anger, no hurt feelings. Comedy.
I was disgusted. How in the world will we teach our children to be kind and put a stop to cruel behavior in schools when THE DISNEY CHANNEL is showing these bullying behaviors followed by laughter and no emotional response??? It was clear where my daughter had gotten the impression that these kinds of conceited one liners and arrogant vanity was playful and a harmless way to get a laugh.
Just when I thought I had seen the worst, there was a scene that made blood shoot from my eyeballs. A pretentious girl, conspiring to create a room-sized walk in closet for all her makeup! and clothes! and shoes! was asked by two boys to help them with a math problem. She does.
To which they exclaim, “Thank you, you are a genius!”
The girl is offended.
The boys hurriedly fix their ghastly mistake with, “Oh! I mean you are SO beautiful!”
….and she prances away, satisfied.
Excuse me while I heave.
Shame on me for exposing my daughter to this kind of garbage.
SHAME ON DISNEY.
What talented person working over there in the Disney CO. believes this is an appropriate message for 8 + girls in 2014?
REALLY???
They are out to make conceit and rejection funny. They are sending intentional messages to girls about how they should value their looks and their walk-in closets over their brains! Now, I realize that not all children are going to be as susceptible as my daughter was to copying the abhorrent behavior on these shows. But I have more than one daughter. And who knows how they have been internalizing this bullshit. It’s outrageous.
After picking up the kids from school, my girls and I sat and re-watched these shows. I wanted to gouge my eyes out. As we watched, I paused it every single time someone said something cruel, every time the fake audience laughed inappropriately at what in real life would be someone’s serious emotional pain. We talked about what would actually happen if you acted like that with your friends, and how you can’t repair things by declaring “Just KIDDING!” I showed them the “genius” scene and we had a long talk about the awful and unacceptable message it sends to girls about dumbing down, caring only about appearance, objectification… my daughters got more than they bargained for that afternoon.
As a parent, when the kids are watching t.v., it’s mostly because I need a moment. To make dinner. To help someone else with homework. To gather my sanity. These few examples permanently damaged my trust in the Disney Channel and the trash they are producing for our kids.
It’s hard enough to raise kids who will have the moral fortitude to stand up for themselves and for each other. It’s hard enough to teach my little girls to be proud and brave and own their bodies and their brains without apology. To recognize and condemn cruelty and sexism. It’s hard enough to get a moment to catch my breath and feel like my kids are safe and entertained for 30 minutes under the DISNEY umbrella without unwittingly downloading vain, cruel, and damaging sexist garbage into their impressionable brains.
Shame on my naiveté and trust in the Disney name.
Believe me… lesson learned.
I agree DISNEY is garbage!! I am a mother and as a child I grew up with Disney and when you look back wow it is discussing and dreadful! Especially the Disney movies and the princess movies what the hell are they teaching kids waiting for Prince Charming to rescue them from some evil mother or in Aladdin it’s ok to be a theif, or how snow white sleeps with seven men??? Or how Cinderella has a curfew on coming home at 12am???!!!! Or the little mermaid will too start of with she’s a mermaid thinking music is the only way out of life totally garbage brain washing !! Thank you for ur say it opens up closed minds and it reminds people that what you watch is murder to ur brain! And u don’t even no it…,
Shame on you Disney !
Totally agree!!!! Jessie and KC Undercover the worse. Why is Disney even going down this route??
This is a grandparent’s take on Disney.
My son is a single father of an 8yr. old boy. I have my grandson at my house after school and on various days off. We don’t make a habit of watching TV when he’s here, but sometimes do. My impression had been that Disney was ‘safe’ programming and that anything on the network was well thought out. How wrong I was. He started telling me that he hoped he never had an older sister. I knew that wasn’t possible, but didn’t understand why he’d said it. I started watching some of the shows he liked and was surprised at how snarky the girls were, even when talking to parents and teachers. I realize that I’m older and that things change, but the level of disrespect was a shock. Further the boys, younger and teenage, were portrayed are complete dolts just waiting for a girl, and her attitude, to set them straight. There was no kindness shown between siblings or even young boy/girl relationships. Is this what Disney intentionally puts out there, or have they just become complacent with their brand and hire inexperienced writers who mistake sarcasm for talent? No more Disney here. Many family oriented movies on Netflix and Family Flix.
Wow!! Just happened upon this…I’ve been letting my 8yo daughter watch these shows and while I hear inappropriate things, I never really thought about it like this. This was an eye opener. Thanks a million!!!
I just came upon this blog post, as I was wrestling with the same situation recently with my nine-year-old daughter. Similar to your daughter she is very susceptible to mimicking behaviour that she thinks is pleasing to others. We ended up in the same boat as you! I’m getting really really tired of repeating myself trying to eloquently explain to her why all these Disney shows are “like junk food for your brain”. I think I’m just going to put a block on the Channel all together, so that it is not a temptation for her. Luckily she is really into some HGTV shows and shows on the Food Channel for those times when I’m out of options:)! But, Shame on Disney!! We moms have to really be on the ball these days, so many sad and pathetic influences coming their way. Great job explaining this to your girls, mama!!
I could not agree more – and the new programming gets worse and worse. and yes, we have seen our daughter’s personality change with too much watching of their shows. With the newest show, Bizaarvark, I am ready to block the channel completely. It is all garbage. and I agree with Lindsay – Shame on Disney!!!
I couldn’t agree more! it is all garbage, and getting worse – if that is even possible. I am ready to completely block the channel. The message, the stereotypes, the insults, the treatment of friends/family members is awful, and all the mothers are idiots! We can see a definite change in our daughter if she watches the channel!
I agree. I don’t have any children, but I think it’s very sad what children’s programming has become.
Recently I befriended an 11 years old girl.It’s 11 years between us too.She seemed like a very intelligent girl for her age and also quite polite and sociable.But as I got to know her deeper, I realised that she internalized all those toxic behaviors and mindset of the girls on Disney shows.She uses Disney “lingo”, as you name it.She throws attitudes around, she and her friends constantly being rude with one another, she cares more about clothes and make up than playing games kids her age are supposed to.There is so much more but the point is…I’m not a mother.But it breaks my heart to see what Disney is doing to children.It destroys them.It makes me seriously concerned about these young generations that grow up watching such garbage.And this girl’s parents don’t even know what’s going on.
It’s really sad that Disney had great shows but now has resorted to this.It’s really, really sad.
Do her parents know about this friendship??
I find it odd that on Disney Channel, they show commercials about standing up to bullying, when the shows, such as Jessie and K.C. Undercover are including children making fun of each other, and following it with a laugh track. Most of the rude or inappropriate jokes that they make are not even funny. Gosh Disney Channel! I miss Good Luck Charlie, one of my favorite Disney Channel shows. On Good Luck Charlie, they were so nice to each other and showed sympathy for each other. What happened to that?
Good for you!
Awesome parenting!
I Google this topic to see if any other parent feels as I do about these shows. I am so relieved to hear I am not alone! I can’t believe how rude and obnoxious they act and can’t understand for the life of me why it is being allowed by Disney! My son started (and still is at times) being very testy and rude so I started really listening to what they were watching and was appalled. I called the candle company and had the channel blocked so no more Disney in our house. It’s very frustrating and sad that we as parents can’t even trust the kids channels to do the right thing. What is wrong with people?
Have you seen the episode “Girl Meets Farkle” from “Girl Meets World”? Disney was like, “Hey, we can be deep and have diversity in our programs by adding a character with Asperger’s Syndrome! Look parents, look how educational we are! Look at it! LOOK AT IT!!!!”
They ended up making a complete mess of it. They just made yet another goddanmed cut-out caricature of an Aspergian, and basically just reinforced the frustrating stereotypes that so many of us on the autism spectrum are so frigging sick of. God. I hate Disney Channel so darn much.
I totally agree and am shocked like you are that people who gave use gems like Doc & Sofia The First could do this. Now I’m dealing with the fallout…. No more Disney shows here!
You are so right on. I’m a grandmother and know my granddaughter watches this trash at home and wants to watch it at my house. I watched with her and noticed everything you’ve written about. It’s just not the kids on the shows, but the characterization of stupid, idiotic parents.
The kids are smarter and more mature than the parents. I’m appalled adult actors stoop so low to earn a living. Kids love this shit! And, shit it is. I wish PBS had shows geared more toward the middle schooler. Now, PBS isn’t shit, but with funding being jeopardized, I don’t know what the future holds.
Disney, like the media, clearly has an agenda: to brainwash the masses. They target groups who are impressionable and prey on our vulnerabilities. Children desperately want to fit in. So they slap them with images of what they want kids to perceive as “cool”. Often times these images are unrealistic. Disney princess, anyone? Does anyone actually look like Elsa, for example – she’s actually unpleasant and alien-looking, because her image excessively exaggerates society’s brainwashed perception of beauty…extreme thinness, large eyes, tiny nose and plenty of makeup…all ramped up to extreme levels. But kids see this enough and they start to think it’s how they “should” look. And they start to doubt themselves…which creates a perfect recipe for consumerism and mind control. To add to this, the characters’ attitudes are appalling. Snarky female characters and witless males. When people stick together and create meaningful relationships and bonds, they become stronger. But these shows, in their pushing of bad attitudes and bullying, actually discourage kindness and true friendship because to lack social support is to lack power. That’s what they want! Alienated kids who rely on social media for “friendship” are very lonely and desperate, and they grow up to be disillusioned, out of touch with reality and easy to control. Simple.
BREAKING NEWS: Elsa is a cartoon character. She doesn’t have to be physically realistic.
THANK YOU!!!!!! This is a must read 💯💯💯
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I understand the Disney is ruining my kid but it’s not Disney
It’s Disney channel that’s owned by other people
They have ded jokes hidden in them like in the first ICarly episode where they talk about a teachers bra or the “ask about illuminati” hidden in the background of a sweet life with Zack &Cody
I think that it’s good to show some gay characters because then your child knows “hey if I turn out that way or someone I know turns out to be gay, it’s just fine!” But no one try’s and does that other than Disney at this time of age! Disney channel doesn’t do that, Pixar hasn’t, not even Disney XD
I’m not a Mom, but I am an older sister in college and I completely agree! When I was still a young teen, and not even a little kid anymore, I would continue to watch Disney (and I was in a delicate stage of my life back then). Looking back, I realize just how awful it is.
I watched Disney throughout my entire childhood, and throughout my whole teenage years. I loved it. But… it caused issues for me, especially as a teen in high school. I was very impressionable, even then. Growing up, I thought being sarcastic was actually considered being witty, and by Disney Channel standards it was. I thought sarcasm should be used in all situations, and thought it was something to aspire for and be like. I began coming up with “witty” one-liners in my head so that I could drop them at a moments notice, and so that I could be funny. But, most one-liners on Disney are hurtful and insulting. And, worse, I began acting dumber and lazier than I was. Deep down, I was actually very sensitive and emotional. And loving.
To this day, despite my age, I still love Wizards of Waverly place. I like the comedic relief, but I know now that I should’ve never aspired to be like my idol at the time- “Alex Russo.” I was such an awful teen, and I should’ve known better because if I had imagined myself in the shoes of whoever I dropped those “amazing” one-liners to, I’d be hurt and upset.
I worry so much for my sister, who is like me in so many ways and just as impressionable as I was. I just hope she has the good sense to be able to tell the difference between TV and real life- which I didn’t. I hope I didn’t hurt anyone along the way. And, saying “JUST KIDDING” after every intentional, mean, and rude thing you say doesn’t make it any better or less hurtful- I know from experience. Unfortunately, pretty much every kid on the planet in middle school and high school don’t know that. I hated hearing that sentence every time I’d been hurt and insulted at that age.
I agree mostly but you shouldn’t generalize all of Disney because it heavily depends on the actual creators whether a show is trash or commendable. Calling back to my mind I remember Kim Possible and Phineas and Ferb to be adorably smart Disney shows with such clever humor that even many adults would be busy with understanding. So instead of banning entire Disney rather ban the dumb shows and allow the ones with positive influence.
Disney Channel is not just mediocre sitcoms, people. There’s shows like Tangled Ever After in which the characters behave like decent human beings and there are actual lessons to be learned. I’m a Disney fan and it upsets me that grown adults don’t even bother to look up all the shows but wanna complain about a select few. Sigh.
I understand that you’re offended by what you saw on Disney Channel. But you shouldn’t sink to to the levels of its offensive content.